Female Struggles in quarantine: the period cup saga

OK also I’m about to get real real with you

In quarantine I’ve been trying to do some new things — me and Corey have been going camping for example. Well on our recent camping excursion I was on my period ..so I decided to message with some girls & ask them about these menstrual cups, OK. first of all, to all the girls who told me to use these.. I don’t know what kind of vagina muscles you have but you need to teach me how, what, when, where, & why?

Second of all, I did decide to go with the saalt cup because of the reviews instead of the others that hand little handles.. MISTAKE! Giiiirl, let me just tell you I could not get this thing out of me. I will say that for the 12 hours I had it in: no leaks, it felt fine, & everything was great. Except for the fact that I could not get that bitch out. It was straight up stuck!

So of course I turned to the Internet and there were multiple videos, YouTube, regular Reddit posts.. all about this stuff! OK but they all were able to get it out. Their advice was to bear down like you’re having a child and push.

I was seriously having a panic attack while fisting my own vagina – it was a literal nightmare y’all

I cannot tell you how hard that I pushed. I was peeing on my fucking hand I was pushing so hard I busted blood vessel’s in my damn face trying to get this thing out and it still wasn’t coming out!! it took me almost an hour! I will never put that back up in there again.

Now maybe this is a user error but that freaked me out and it has taken a week and a half for these busted blood vessel’s to go away!!! soo I kid you not sis! I will not be using that again nor will I be pushing a baby out of this vagina. LOL!

If you are new here I’m not really one that wants to have kids so this is nothing new, but hopefully I will not bite my words when I get pregnant later just kidding I’m not even gonna put that into the atmosphere infertile Myrtle please thanks. Byeeeee

In conclusion I’ll stick to tampons — thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Sorry not sorry if I just grossed you out.

One thought on “Female Struggles in quarantine: the period cup saga

  1. HAHA! I couldn’t stop laughing reading this. I look at pictures of the SAALT Cup and it looks intimidating. I am so happy that you were able to get it out lol! You and Corey would have been in the emergency room.

    Liked by 1 person

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